ALL THE BEST JOKES YOU SEND TO US

Mostly ladies jokes for a change ......

 Husband - I feel kinky, do you fancy swapping positions tonight?

Wife - "Good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart"

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 One day...

my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt.

Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, "What setting do I use on the washing machine?"

"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your sweatshirt?"

He yelled back, "University of Oklahoma."

And they say blondes are dumb...!!i

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 A couple are lying in bed...

The man says, "I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world."

The woman replies, "I'll miss you..."

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 "It's just too hot to wear clothes today,"...

Chris says as he stepped out of the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?"

"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied.

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 What do you call...

an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor."

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 A man and...

his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a

good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one

wish.

The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband... Whoosh...

Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.

The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger... Whoosh...

immediately he turned ninety!!! Gotta love that fairy!

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 A PRAYER.......

Dear Lord,

I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;

Love to forgive him;

And Patience for his moods.

Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,

I'll beat him to death.

AMEN

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 Why do little boys whine?

They are practicing to be men.

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 What do you call a handcuffed man?

Trustworthy.

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 What does it mean when...

a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

You didn't hold the pillow down long enough!

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 Why do female...

black widow spiders kill their males after mating?

To stop the snoring before it starts.

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 Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?

It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

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 What is the difference between men and women?

A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.

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 How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

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