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 Then there was the bloke who......

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 Hillbillies

A couple of hillbillies are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy grabs his cell phone and calls 911. He shouts at the operator, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator, in a calm soothing voice says, "Just take it easy. I can help. First, lets make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard.....

The hillbillies says, "OK, now what?"

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 Then there was the Essex girl who......

• took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
• sent a fax with a stamp on it.
• tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.
• thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
• thought Eartha Kitt was a set of garden tools.
• thought General Motors was in the army.
• tripped over a cordless phone.
• spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said concentrate.
• at the bottom of the job application where it says "sign here," put "Libra."
• asked for a price check at the Pound Store.
• studied for a blood test.
• when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.
• when she went to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
• heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, so she moved.
• if she spoke her mind, would be speechless.
• thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.

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 Dyslexia means.....

never having to say that you're yrros.

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